hmm...thinking about politics today. i saw bill clinton's speech last night, and i have to say that the guy knows how to work a crowd and inspire one to work to change the world through the democratic party. there's this dilemma i find myself in regarding the extent to which christians should be engaged in the political process. on one hand, i believe that my primary allegiance should be to the kingdom of God, and not to america. really, i think it's the role of the church to meet the needs of families and the poor. but the church hasn't been able to fully do that. in the meantime, i essentially work for the government, and have worked for government-funded programs my entire career so far. and, quite frankly, my families can't wait around for the church to meet all of their needs. my kids need medical care and food, and my families need efficient, affordable access to counseling, parenting classes, offender treatment, etc. i have a lot of relative caregivers who want to care for the children in their family, but can't because they can't afford to. i have kids who are stuck in limbo, going from one place to another because housing assistance has a wait of over a year. that's too long for my families. honestly, i want a government that is going to try to do something about it. this is a big issue and i'm not trying to address all of the sides today. i just have a hard time seeing kingdom-ideals manifested in the real world sometimes... talk back to me!

happy, happy birthday daniel christopher fox!! indulge me while i make a shameless plug for my intended. things i love about daniel: he is always looking for ways to serve me. he loves God a lot. he wants to be holy. he's very funny. he's hot in that rock-star kind of way. he loves astrophysics. he is very smart. he's on of the most genuinely creative people i know. he is kind to strangers. he's willing to travel the universe with me. he makes me laugh. he's a good kisser. he loves to learn. he loves my dog. tell him happy birthday, today.

my brother needs to blog soon. like today. but julie gross finally got back to it!

it's sunday night, and i just got back from sending palmer off to europe. good stuff. now daniel is playing poker with the boys. tomorrow (monday) is daniel's birthday. happy birthday, love! the man is amazing, always trying to learn how to love god and me more. he's so patient with all of my ideas and abstract thoughts. i can't wait to spend my life with him! also, he has an interview on his birthday for a job that could go a long way in getting out of the country in a few years...daniel fox is my hero! i'm really getting into anna karenina - i'm far enough along that i think i might actually finish it this time. the book, the fact that i'm about to get married, and situations around me have me thinking about the whole idea of faithfulness...everyone always says that love is hard work, and i expect it to be at times. what i don't get, though, is how it can seem so effortless for some, and so much harder for others, who have just as much integrity and respect for the sacredness of commitment. it's kind of like faith - it seems so easy for some people to just live in god's presence, while i know others who really want to know god, but feel like they're shouting out into a void. how does that work? why do i keep trying to make sense of it? no new questions here. daniel and i went to a birthday party in cincinnati last night. it was the best kind of homecoming - lots of people who speak love and wisdom into my life - the kind of people i want to keep around for a long time. but it was good, too, to be with my columbus community tonight and not find myself comparing them to cincinnati, and knowing that i belong here... ok. this whole post is getting a bit self-absorbed. i will go now. good night.

my oldest friend in the world and her husband have entered the land of blogdom.  hooplah!  deb and her husband, nate, just moved to portland, oregon, and they do a great job of sharing it with their readers...  

been thinking lately about how impossible it is to truly know someone - no matter how tightly bound we are to another, they will never cease to surprise us - often, to disappoint us.  but we each have that capacity for disappointing others as well.  thus, the need for grace....   "...love is not a victory march.  it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah..." (leonard cohen?)   don't worry - everything is going great.  but i've just been thinking a lot about c.s. lewis' assertion that joy and grief are all part of the same thing...   thoughts, anyone?

i wrote such a long, lovely post last night, and it disappeared when i published it.  this is my test post.

i have been a bad, bad blogger! but i'm determined not to have lunch until i've said something. or a few things. let me tell you about some of my friends... my sister nathalie is in ecuador for two months, learning to be an even better doctor. my sister alice is in thailand this week, presenting at the international hiv/aids conference. my sister sharon got a piece accepted to the ohio state fair art gallery. my boyfriend daniel is going to be an amazing husband for me. my church family is stepping into their gifts and our little gathering is really starting to feel like the church. my aunt finally got e-mail. my parents love me unconditionally. my brother has decided to become a teacher. i love my people! this afternoon, i'm driving down to cincinnati to visit one of my foster kids. she's a teenage girl who has been doing things like staying out all night. no big deal, but right now i have two girls who keep making dumb choices. did i think that the world revolved around me when i was 15? probably. do i get annoyed when these kids don't realize that the world is much bigger than themselves? definitely. and i know that the world is bigger than my frustrations with silly teenagers. it's even bigger than the kids with much deeper issues... anyway, i'm really getting excited about my little road trip - i'm going to stay in cincinnati for dinner with my old roommate - see my old apartment and my favorite neighborhood in the world. what have you been reading lately? i went on a frenzy this past weekend - finally finished the fifth harry potter book, and read a novel by t. davis bunn in an evening and a morning. now i've started tolstoy's "anna karenina" (again!) and am going to finish it this time...daniel and i have been going to the downtown library. i get so exicted there - SO MANY books, and they're all FREE!! there are deeper things that have happening, but things that are not appropriate for public discourse...strange dreams...an underlying aching for the grief in those around me...but the deeper the grief, the deeper the potential for joy... that is all for now.