it's sunday night, and i just got back from sending palmer off to europe. good stuff. now daniel is playing poker with the boys. tomorrow (monday) is daniel's birthday. happy birthday, love! the man is amazing, always trying to learn how to love god and me more. he's so patient with all of my ideas and abstract thoughts. i can't wait to spend my life with him! also, he has an interview on his birthday for a job that could go a long way in getting out of the country in a few years...daniel fox is my hero! i'm really getting into anna karenina - i'm far enough along that i think i might actually finish it this time. the book, the fact that i'm about to get married, and situations around me have me thinking about the whole idea of faithfulness...everyone always says that love is hard work, and i expect it to be at times. what i don't get, though, is how it can seem so effortless for some, and so much harder for others, who have just as much integrity and respect for the sacredness of commitment. it's kind of like faith - it seems so easy for some people to just live in god's presence, while i know others who really want to know god, but feel like they're shouting out into a void. how does that work? why do i keep trying to make sense of it? no new questions here. daniel and i went to a birthday party in cincinnati last night. it was the best kind of homecoming - lots of people who speak love and wisdom into my life - the kind of people i want to keep around for a long time. but it was good, too, to be with my columbus community tonight and not find myself comparing them to cincinnati, and knowing that i belong here... ok. this whole post is getting a bit self-absorbed. i will go now. good night.