good morning. it is very much so a good morning. i'm sleepy and content, catching up on some paperwork and listening to the flaming lips sing about yoshimi battling the robots. that song makes me giddy. in fact, i haven't felt as giddy as i do today in a long, long while... i like it! tonight is house church. we'll most likely be delving into acts chapter 5, if we don't just spend some time loving on each other instead. it's the story of annanias and sapphira being struck dead for holding back some of their money instead of giving it all to the body of believers, then lying about it. i think it's more about their lie than anything else, but i keep thinking of the idea of holding on tightly to something that we want to think is ours, when in reality God wants to liberate us so beautifully, if we just let him. see, i've been learning about trust lately. i know it's a simple thing, but it seems it's taken me awhile to really grasp it and live it consistently. the thing is, i believe in a God that truly wants the best for us, and i know that the best is usually something incredible, that i usually can't even imagine until it happens. i know this is true, because it's happened to me often. so why do i still find myself trying to figure it out all by my little self, insisting that even though i know what i'm holding onto definitely isn't the best, it is good enough for me, thank you very much! besides, letting things go can sometimes feel like cutting off a limb, even when the limb is infected. i also so often find myself making the assumption that after i do let go of my idols, he's going to make me wait a long, long while before replacing them with something true and good and beautiful, so that i can appropriately learn my lesson. that's just not true, dear ones. i'm sure of it.