ok. i have a feeling it might take awhile to get this blogging thing figured out. i'm an intelligent woman - i just have a lot of the details to work out, so forgive me if you have to wait a few months to see all of those nice little features in the side bars, etc. thanks for bearing with me! now. to begin again. i was almost done with a great post but somehow lost it when i went to explore template options a minute ago. i've been thinking a lot about grief and darkness lately. funny - it seems that this october/november time of the year is usually when i'm the most aware of the pain and loneliness around me - not in an oppressive, consuming way, but in a way that makes me feel like i'm seeing humanity and the world just a bit more through God's eyes. does that make sense? maybe it has to do with autumn - all of nature (at least in the midwest) is dying and going to sleep, preparing for rebirth in the spring. it follows, then, that we as humans go through our own little (and big) deaths. i know that i'm going through a slow death and rebirth: a recent, very hard breakup of the longest relationship i've ever been in; a return to work that stirs up the fire in my belly; a gradual re-entering of my community after a year of isolation; figuring who my community really is, anyway; a gradual re-entering of my communion with God...that's a lot for a girl all at once! but i just read my daily assortment of blogs, and have had converstions lately that make me know it's not just me...thoughts, anyone?? but life is not all intentional introspection...happy things today: i love my dog! i'm learning to love my cat, too. pets have a way of not letting people stay sad for very long...blaze, my mutt, likes to pretend she's a cat when she plays with sophie, the real cat. she crouches down and then pounces, batting her paws in the air. that's a great thing to wake up to! back to work now.