it's a crisp, clear day, full of beauty. angie is reading my blog, and said some nice things on her own today. hooplah! i like her, too, and she happens to be an excellent writer. you can find her by clicking on the left. lots of thoughts this morning..."every little thing is gonna be alright..." last night was strange. i've been feeling the constant battle between flesh and spirit recently. i convinced myself that it was too cold and rainy to go to house church, and ended up having a confusing, unsettling evening. i give up. i can't keep trying to manipulate my relationships to get what i selfishly want. if i keep it up, i'm just going to feel even more crazy than i do already. sometimes it's just so damn hard to let go, though! why do i keep convincing myself that what i know is true is just partly true?? am i making any sense? i guess it all boils down to an ultimate selfishness, and fear of just giving up my own control.